Take A Break
Do you ever feel stuck in place?
This year, I tried so hard to grow to be a better person and take small steps to reach my goals, but I feel like I didn’t make any progress. For two weeks this month, (August 2021) I just lay in my bed (in Indonesia we called it as rebahan), and didn’t want to do anything even thought I already knew exactly what I should do.
On the 18th of August, I took a Swab Antigen Test because I had a fever and a headache for a few days that progressed on to a cough, blocked nose, and then finally to a loss of my ability to smell and taste. Yeah, I got Covid-19.
Honestly, I hoped that I would be able to avoid contracting the virus. I already received two doses of vaccine in March 2021. Why did I still get the virus? Well, my vaccine only helps to reduce the severity of the symptoms. I’m glad that I didn’t become breathless, as that sounds dreadful. My body still felt okay when I took test, just a little weak.
When the doctor told me that I tested positive, I had mix feelings such as:
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I won’t able to work, and will receive a reduced salary
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What will happen to my body because of the virus?
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How can I spend days only in one room?
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Will my family have to isolate as well?
I received many DMs on Instagram. My friends encouraged me and told me that they had prayed for me. My colleagues also texted me to wish that I get well soon. I’m happy that many people cared enough about me to send their well wishes whilst I was ill. It helped me have faith that I can get through this situation. One thing that I need to do if I want to recover quickly is to be happy and have a positive mindset.
One day, when I lay down in my bed, I stared at the ceiling and was full of thoughts.
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I want to start creating content, but why don’t I create consistently?
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I want to be a productive person, but why do I just lay in bed and scroll on social media?
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I want to have another income stream, but why didn’t I start anything?
I was confused, and I really felt that I lost hope. I’m not sure if this was because of the virus; perhaps it made both my body and my mind enter an unhealthy state or whatever. I knew that I should jump out of my bed, stop scrolling, and take action, but my body didn’t want to help me get up from my comfort zone. Alright, the lazy voice in my head wins. I fell into a deep, dark state of mind.
Then, one of my friends said to me, “It’s okay if you want to take a break from your activities. You have been given a time to think and evaluate yourself. Calm down. Once you accept the feeling, you will come back again full of spirit! Get well soon Shina!” After I read that message, I felt better and accepted the feeling. I knew that it’s possible to heal and achieve a healthy body and mind again. Sometimes we just need to get through the hard time first. It’s normal to feel stressed, confused, anxious, or angry.
‘Difficult times always teach us the most important lessons about life and growth.’
My friend is right, this is an opportunity for me to take a break, connect with myself, heal my body, and reflect during my self-isolation.
I found the following quote very helpful for those of us who face a hard time in life:
